Everyday Inspirations #6

“So what do you like to do?” 

“Oh I want to do [insert specialization or sub-specialization here]”. 

“I mean, what do you like to do for fun?” There is silence then a wry smile. 

“I used to love mountain climbing…” 

“That’s so cool!” 

“But I don’t have time for it anymore.” 

“Oh…” 

“You’ll understand when you start working.”

I can’t tell you the number of times I have had this conversation. We each have a limited amount of time and energy to fulfill a lifetime of responsibilities. Choices have to be made and things sacrificed along the way. Often the first things we let go of are our loves and passions- the ‘frills’ of life. Slowly at first, in ways we don’t even realize. But what if these are the things that make us happy- that give us the energy to tackle the challenges we face every single day? Can we really afford to give them up?

Photo credit: Matilda Aquila Chia

One of the things that I truly admire about today’s guest is his dedication to both his passions and responsibilities. Kai Wen is a 5th year medical student- like all his batch mates, he is expected to be in training. Not just to pass his finals, but to take his place in the ward as a doctor next year. Somehow, Kai Wen manages to fulfill this duty while staying true to his other love in life- music. Since teaching himself beatboxing in 2007, he has not looked back, performing several times a month (locally and internationally), going on tour, conducting beatboxing workshops, judging national beatboxing competitions and even working on vocal arrangements for local musicals/television shows (full bio here)!  The comment I most often get from those who know him is ‘how does he do it?’. I am curious too. 

Although he would be the first to insist that the balance he has struck is far from perfect, I think many of us have been struggling to find any balance at all! So if you are in the same camp and find it hard to hold on to what you love in the face of your other responsibilities, do read on :)

Kai performing a gig at Singapore's Esplanade Theater 

(Photo credit: Alvin Ho, Positron Productions)

1) What are some of your priorities and passions in life?

One of my priorities is people, and to that end have made a resolution to make time for friends, while also trying to participate as much as I can in senior-junior teaching within medical school, such as CSFP (a mentorship program that teaches clinical skills to the juniors). 

I also volunteer with an amazing program run by MINDS which sends trained 'appropriate adults' to accompany police detainees, victims or witnesses to their police interviews if they are suspected of having mental health issues (eg. intellectual disability/autism spectrum disorder).

Another priority is of course medical school; it is truly a privileged position and a debt to society to be in medical training and I therefore hope to become a skilled and compassionate doctor, which has to start by putting my medical education first. On the other hand, some of my passions include music (particularly a cappella, vocal arranging and beatboxing), and music education.

2) How do you juggle your passions and priorities? 

I guess perhaps I’m lucky to be in a unique situation where performances tend to be at night or on weekends, and school (for now) largely happens on weekdays, so that naturally reduces the number of clashes compared to people who might be working in a different industry. Otherwise, it's also a matter of discipline (which I’m still working on!) in recognizing that as a final-year student studying should be my main focus, and hence I try to spend most of my spare time reading and revising. 

Further, carefully weighing the pros and cons of all gigs which come my way is important; I’m not above taking leave from school for certain shows where I can afford to, but I won't hesitate to turn down a gig if it will clearly interfere with my learning. For example, this year I was offered performance opportunities in Taiwan and India for great festivals which I really wanted to accept, but due to clashes with final exams and student internship (where I would expect to have a lot more responsibilities), I unfortunately had to decline.

 

Kai judging the beatboxing category at Singapore's National A Cappella Championships (Photo credit: Martin Karnolsky)

3) Have you ever burnt out? How do you cope with/ prevent burn out?

One instance of burnout which I experienced was in 2011 when I competed in a national beatbox battle, and ended up doing worse than I’d hoped. I think I took the judges' comments quite self-critically; subsequently I questioned why I had put so much effort into practicing my craft with so little to show for it, and contemplated giving up on beatboxing.

In retrospect, I think burnout occurs when one is either physically or mentally fatigued, or both, and in this case I guess I got around it with the encouragement of close friends as well as a change of mindset, that there was so much more to learn in order to improve myself.

4) Do you experience self-doubt about your choices? How do you reconcile these doubts?

I guess self-doubt is pretty much a constant in almost every musician who isn't immediately 'successful', due to the seasonal nature of music work, so I’d have to say yes to this question. Over the last few years, there have been months where I’d be doing two to three gigs a week, and then other months with completely no work at all. In such times it'd be inevitable to begin questioning my dedication to doing music, and if my time and effort could be better spent on other pursuits instead. 

I think I deal with this by keeping busy with both my own music projects as well as schoolwork, and I am always grateful for occasional undeserved kind words of encouragement from my friends (and sometimes complete strangers) which make everything worth it and keep me going.

Kai in Los Angeles with Andrew Kesler (middle) and Avi Kaplan (right). Kai was there for A Cappella Academy Retreat, an audition-only summer intensive programme, where he got the chance to record backing choir vocals for Pentatonix.

5) Have you had to give up anything along the way? Any regrets?

I think early on in chasing a music career I quite unfortunately neglected the importance of keeping friends close to me, and I didn't (and still don't) have much of a social life; for one, I spend a significant proportion of my time with friends from my a cappella group, who have made it in their own musical careers and are huge inspirations, but as a result I barely spend any time with peers my age. Yet certain trade-offs like these do need to be made in order to progress in an industry like music, just as personal sacrifices need to be made to be a doctor. I don't regret it though; I feel extremely lucky to have been able to join a well-established a cappella group way back in 2012, which meant for the most part I didn't have to worry too much about the finances of being a starving musician, and could therefore afford to experiment more in terms of starting out as a solo artist.

6) Are there still things you wish you could do? Why have you not gotten around to doing them?

There are plenty! I wish I could learn or immerse myself in various things, including musical theatre, jazz arranging, languages, and audio production. Perhaps because med school and music work are practically my life now, I haven't really been able to do these things, mostly because expert guidance is required to learn most of them and the time which that requires isn't entirely compatible with everything else I do right now, but occasionally I try to teach myself through books and online resources like coursera.

Kai performing a Multitrack A Cappella of Gentle Bones' 'Save Me'

7) Looking forward, how do you hope to balance your passion for music with your work as a doctor?

I do want to keep doing both for as long as I can; although I might tail down my involvement in some music activities, and scale down on larger projects, I’m hoping to keep pushing myself and working hard in both fields. That said, while work will come with significantly more responsibility and accountability than school, and I’ll probably have less control over how my time is spent, role models such as Dr. Sydney Tan (music director for a good number of National Day Parades, last year's SEA Games, and practicing doctor no less) whom I’ve had the absolute privilege of working with several times through my a cappella group Vocaluptuous, help me to keep hoping that a dual career in medicine and music are wholly possible.

8) There are many who have given up what they love because they need their time/energy for other responsibilities (work, school, family etc). What advice do you have for them?

I would say it's important to find out what you love and what you're good at. They mightn't always be the same thing, but when they do overlap that's when you'll find yourself seemingly able to work at it tirelessly, even with everything else that's happening in your life. 

And don't obsessively compare yourself with how other people in the same field are doing; as long as you put effort into what you love when you can afford it, even if it's the littlest bit, you're still progressing and that's what counts eventually.

Thank you for sharing your passion with us!

Kai doing what he does best- Beatboxing 

Everyday Inspirations #5

Today we speak to Valerie, a young entrepreneur, about having the courage to chase your dreams. At 22, she has already been involved in 9 start-up companies (one of which she helped co-found) and is working on setting up her own social enterprise. Speaking to me over Skype from Silicon Valley (where she is completing a prestigious entrepreneurship programme), what stood out to me most was her unwavering belief in her vision of ‘doing good’.

Whether you are still studying, a fresh graduate, thinking of a career change or simply stuck in a rut, I encourage you to read Valerie’s fresh take on everything from how to score your first job without the requisite (and ironic) prior experience, to making your own opportunities and dealing with failure.

1) Tell me about the projects you have been involved in. How did you get the opportunity to work on them?

I’ve interned and helped out with different start up organisations, namely social enterprises, non-profits, an accelerator, an incubator and a venture capital firm.

Most of them were self-sourced through word of mouth from friends, networking at events and social media. For some, I asked if they had an opening. For others, they were looking for someone so I joined on board.

How did the opportunity for the company you co-founded come up?

I met one of the other co-founders at a conference and found out he was just starting out with this idea of his. 

"I messaged him afterwards saying ‘hey! I have some experience interning at a social enterprise and I think I can help you out in these ways. Would you be interested in going for this particular opportunity together?’"

After that, we just kept working on the idea and on other competitions together.

How often do you get a positive reply from a company?

In general, it’s easier if the company is already looking for interns or help, and I got more success that way. But in the Bay Area (San Francisco especially), I received quite a number of rejections- maybe 1 out of 10 would work out because of the sheer number of peers who are interested in similar opportunities.

How do you deal with rejection?

I think one thing is you have to accept that rejection is part of the process. Always expect that there will be a low rate of acceptance when you are looking for good opportunities. But there are so many different types of opportunities, so it is important to not give up hope and to keep trying.

 Valerie and Chris Anderson, Curator of TED

2) How did you decide where your passion lay in business?

Since I was young, I have always wanted to help people and do something good for society. Later, I found that I was also interested in businesses and start-ups. I thought it would be good to combine the two and have a business that would do social good in the future.

Also, interning in a social enterprise (The Thought Collective) allowed me to see that this way of doing business was possible and inspired me to do the same.

Were there any points where you felt unsure if this was the path you wanted to take?

"I think even at this point, I’m not entirely sure what my path is. One thing I do know is that I want to be a global leader in doing good but the exact way by which I want to do so is unclear. I think it is ok to have that amount of uncertainty."

It is hard as someone who is young and not entirely exposed to different experiences to know what you want. So I think just having a general goal and trying out different pathways and experiences are good ways to allow you to have a clearer picture in the future.

3) Did you/your parents have any concerns about your wanting to set up your own company?

Definitely. Because I was doing this while in college, my parents were really worried it would affect my studies. They were afraid I was spending too much time on it and that it would cause me to be really stressed.

For myself as well, there was uncertainty whether this was something that was worth it, whether it would do well and if I would succeed.

How did you convince your parents?

It was gradual. I told them I thought this would help me to learn and meet new people, that I was accomplishing things through this and also helping other people. I’m not sure if I have managed to completely convince them but I told them ‘I can handle this!’

How did you reconcile the doubts within yourself?

For myself…hmm…I think God has really helped me throughout all this. It has been hard sometimes but I just have this faith and trust in God that this is all for a purpose.

Valerie at Facebook HQ

4) What are some challenges you have faced? How did you overcome them?

The first is ‘overloading’- having too many things going on at once. Especially in my second year of college, I had almost 10 commitments! It was very stressful and exhausting juggling everything. What has helped me is always being part a team so that you have people supporting you. Communication is important as well- just letting people know what you can and can’t do. Have a support network of friends who can help and manage your time according to what is most urgent- there has to be a give and take.

Second, there is a lot of uncertainty and failure involved, especially when you are doing something new. You need to learn to be ok with not being able to control and know everything. Don’t be too afraid of making mistakes and failing- every time I have gone through failure I do feel somewhat like it is the end of the world but really, it is not. It is extremely tough and demoralising but it is temporary and you CAN pick yourself up. When you have had more failures, you realise you have the capability of getting though them- in a sense, it gets easier because the belief and knowledge that you can handle it helps you in overcoming it faster.

The third challenge is rejection. When you are starting a start-up and you are young, you will face a lot of ‘No’s from people. And when you are applying for internships or programmes you will get many rejections as well. My advice for that is don’t let that stop you- just keep going for more. 

"Don’t take it too personally. It is a numbers game- you will always get rejections but the more you do it, the more ‘Yes’s and successes you will get."

Valerie and Dave McClure, Founder of 500 Startups

A lot of people face the difficulty of not being accepted to their first job/internship because they don’t have previous experience but if you never get that first opportunity then how can you get experience?

Maybe you could start small first. I have found that smaller organisations are more willing to take you in even when you lack experience. So diversify your search.

"It’s also good to have a personal connection with someone in the team and show your willingness to learn. Don’t just apply through the traditional job portal- send them a personal email and ask them to meet up for coffee. Show them that you are inquisitive and passionate."

You may not have the particular skill that they want but you may have related skills that will help you in learning the needed skill. There have been times where I did internships where I didn’t know anything before hand and just learnt on-the-go. If you show that you have the right attitude, they might still take you on.

You can also just start learning it on your own- you don’t always have to have practical experience. Learn it online and create your own projects where you can display that you have developed that skill. One example is marketing. You might not have any marketing internships but if you start your own blog/ page, create a following and learn how to post, you can show that you have developed that skill! This can work for software engineering and coding too.

Valerie and Eric Ries, author of The Lean Startup

5) What resources/support have you found useful?

Online self-improvement articles help a lot- I like those on lifehacker.com and these two articles, by Elle Luna and Erno Hannink, about finding your purpose. I also enjoy reading blogs about business (Paul Graham and Sam Altman) and personal development (Mark Manson and Oliver Emberton).

Family, friends and mentors have also been helpful.

How did you identify your mentors?

A number of mentors happened to be people I have worked with in internships- they were basically my bosses. Others are just people who I met along the way who are nice and who I’m friends with. It is important to be friends as well. To keep it going you have to half be friends and half be seeking advice from them.

Valerie and James Beshara, CEO of Tilt, during her internship

6) You have an excellent website. How do you go about ‘branding’ yourself?

For one thing I don’t think I have a super strong brand. I think I’m kind of a little bit all over the place. (laughs)

I brand myself in the sense that I have one common vision in my life. Right now, I’m also clear that what I am trying to do is learn more.

Try to show how the work you are doing is useful- highlight your achievements and the skills you have learnt. See if there is a way you can find a coherent narrative of why you are doing the things that you are doing. And show that you are active and going about doing a lot of different things. Make it public.

7) What advice do you have for university students who are uncertain of which direction to take?

For undergraduates, I advise trying out lots of different things so you can get a sense of it and see if you like it.

For graduates, I recommend meeting people who are in the jobs/fields you are interested in and asking them how it is like. Get a very detailed sense so you don’t go into it just having a vague notion. And do research online as well. One good resource guide is 80000hours.org- it has a lot of advice about how to choose a good career for yourself that also makes a social impact.

You should make learning one of the key criteria when choosing a job. Find a job that allows you to be able to learn a lot of things versus one that just has a good pay check or seems stable and prestigious. 

"The older you get, the more you need to have stability. But when you are younger, you can afford to focus on your learning."

Valerie with the other interns at Tilt 

Thank you for sharing your insights with us!